Too much hate.
Too much shooting at the hip before finding out what is really going on. The following post was written by A nurse who is caring for the poor in Guatemala. She doesn't just talk and debate. She goes out into the mud and grime and tries to save the lives of little children. She was, until two days ago, a registered Republican. Her husband was killed four years ago in Iraq. She is tired of being lied to by her government. So am I. I do have much respect for my conservative friends, but many are listening only to one side of issues, and that side is not honest. That side is not patriotic. That side lost the war in Afganistan because they went to Iraq for whatever reason, take your pick as to the reasons, I've heard them all. I have heard Bush and Cheney change their stories repeatedly over the years as to why we went there, and why some of our most valued young died in a war that has no real end or even realistic goals. When we leave Iraq, if we do, we all know what is going to happen. Another radical Islamic enemy. Worse in every way than they were before we quit Afganistan, WHICH WE WERE WINNING, and now are losing. I am not thrilled with the Administration's overall performance, particularly in regards to Israel, but there is much more to the story than many, apparently, are even aware of. Because they only listen to one side. Cat Estanol lost her Husband in the Iraq fiasco, . If you consider yourself a thoughtful American, and you honor our soldiers, and their families, listen to her story.
In my heart and in my mind I know I cannot find peace with my husband's death in Iraq until I fully understand why he was there and simply, why did he die? What was the point? Was there a point? Did my President lie to me, to us? Why did this have to happen? Why am I still here without my husband? Was his death as pointless as I sometimes believe? Grief is a powerful thing. At the time he died, people would say things to me like "It's a process." No, it's not. It has been 4 years and I am not "over" it or “through” it or whatever you want to say. He is here with me in my heart and in my mind every minute of every day awake or asleep. No, I have NOT learned to live with it. No, time does not heal. I get stuck on the Why? part of his death. Why is he dead? He was shot. He was shot 21 times with assault rifles. His Captain said that it was over quickly and he was gone before he fell to the ground. I like to think that he didn't have time to think, to be scared or worried. In my heart and in my mind I know I cannot find peace with his death until I fully understand why he was there and simply, why did he die? What was the point? Was there a point? Did my President lie to me, to us? Why did this have to happen? Why am I still here without my husband? Was his death as pointless as I sometimes believe? People say things to me like “he died to keep us all free.” No, he didn’t. He served our country to keep us all free, but he died because he was sent to Iraq. That’s not the same thing. He was one in a long line of military men in his family, father, grandfathers, uncles, and now brothers. I am proud of him. I am proud of what he did. I am proud that he made a conscious decision to serve his country and that he served honorably. It is some solace that he was killed while he was trying to help someone, not kill someone. He had a good heart. What he was asked to do must have been killing him inside but he did it because it was his duty. What I am not proud of is the fact that I believe that we, Americans, were manipulated into a conflict and that he was killed to advance the theories of a few egotistic men as they saw the US as a benevolent superpower deciding which regimes get to stay in power and which must fall so that we may maintain our superiority. Men with Napoleonic complexes, most of whom never served in any military capacity, career politicians, who want to rule the world, and still want to, by advancing what they say are conservative principles. I am a conservative but those principals they have outlined are not my principles. Would it be easier, would it be safer for America if by sheer military strength all other nations in the world followed our example of democracy and western thinking and did as we wanted? Yes, of course. Should we strive to bend others to our will? No. It is wrong and I believe immoral, not to mention unlikely. We have a hard enough time running the US, let alone the world. I am quite certain that what led us into Iraq was a perfect storm of a nation shattering event, powerful men positioned in influential places and a weak President that could be convinced to follow their position. Many things point to a group called PNAC or Project for the New American Century. I read the website and things started to fall in place for me. I don’t believe in the things they believe. I do feel that my husband died for their beliefs, not to keep the America free. This blog is not about a conspiracy theory. It is about how my beliefs have been shaken to their core and changed forever. When I turned 18 I registered to vote. I registered as a Republican. I was raised Republican. I was raised hearing Rush Limbaugh play on my mother's radio every day. I have been active in the Republican party forever. I volunteered and worked. I attended meetings, distributed flyers, registered people to vote. I was active in the Republican Party on campus when I was in college. I married and my husband went into the Marines, a family tradition. He enlisted after college because he knew it would not be his career but wanted to serve just not as an officer. He was sent to Iraq and was killed only 5 months in to his tour. He and I discussed the war and his responsibility to do as our President asked. He didn't agree with the war, and this was in 2004, but he honored our President and went to serve. I recently signed on to Twitter and then everything changed. Everything. What I thought was the GOP no longer exists as far as I can tell. My Republicans Party no longer exist. They have been replaced by a bunch of rude, disrespectful, and yes - crazy people. The hatred and invectives spewed daily by conservatives on Twitter has completely altered my feeling about the party. I agree with NOTHING that is being said. I have started unfollowing everyone who says hateful and disrespectful things. If you are sporting the "Joker" avatar made to look like President Obama - that's an automatic Block. I don't like the way people demean others and the President. I don't like how they malign everything that comes out of the administration. I don't like how these people make Americans looks unruly, uneducated and uninformed. I don't like what is happening. President Obama is our President. He deserves our respect as did President Bush. I never joined in the Bush-bashing that went on during the last years of his administration. I rarely agreed with him but I always showed respect and I always listened to what he had to say, respectfully. It is interesting to note that during the Bush administration, anyone who disagreed with them was labeled a traitor, lacking patriotism. The way people talk about President Obama and his administration is unpatriotic, it is disrespectful, it is wrong. He is our President and we are in as much jeopardy at this moment as we were the day after 9/11, it is just in a different form. The GOP habit of scaring Americans into compliance has just worn thin for me. All I read is lies and distortion coming from the Right. They are yelling nonsensical talking points to stop all forward movement. I find I cannot get behind a Party that conducts itself the way I have seen the GOP act especially in the past 6 months. I believe the driving force is just plain racism. They cannot believe our President is African-American and so everything he says, everything he does is wrong. Everything. This needs to stop. I am so afraid, so very afraid if this hate-mongering doesn't stop, someone will be killed. I don't want any more killing. What I am most afraid of is that our President will be killed. It seems to me that is the point of all this. Agitate a crazy person who will get rid of what the GOP sees as a problem. It is what I hear in every word Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck or Michelle Malkin speak. This nonsense we are seeing now from both sides needs to stop. Both parties are equally corrupt and there is very little substantive debate about anything anymore in our politics. It's all name-calling, outlandish insults and demonetization of the other side as all that is wrong in America. Rush is a hypocritical blowhard who most likely doesn't believe the majority of what he says-it's an entertainment program after all, not news or insightful analysis, as is the case with most talk radio. I have resigned from the Republican Party. I have resigned as a volunteer in my district. I re-registered as an Independent and it was not a decision I made lightly. Do I hold the Bush Administration responsible for my husband's unnecessary death? Yes I do. Do I trust the GOP? No I don't. Do I want to be a part of the direction they are headed? No. I quit.